yipeee..blogskin finaly edited and kae..juz tat e navigations r serisly harder to find..
hmm,today was e first day of efl..n had a few lil emo periods..
i really wonder to myself when r those periods of god experiences..
was that with u?
or is it simply during my exam time?
or perhaps it wasnt so much so with god but rather with mother mary..
but those felt more like heart-aching moments..
and during e 'prayer ritual',my cynicsm towards catholicism still cant decrease..
altho my frequency of prayer has really increased but dun quite noe why e mindset juz remains..
n it sucks more than those feelings of missin..
perhaps like jonathan,i need two yrs to recover from it..
mayb even more n total despair stage,here i come..
i guess im serisly turnin crazy..
hmm,but recently im also havin quite a no of thinkin towards why god n mother mary lemme go thru such stuff..
coz e thing with me is tat i will say tat im willing to die for god n even mother mary..
afterall,death is like a one time thing n e pain one needs to suffer isnt prolonged..
but death no matter wat is a suffering..if im willing to suffer for god in terms of death,why cant i suffer for him in terms of living death..
ohmann,i suddenly realise he told me sth similar bfor;/..
anw,i realised my lit is dyin..it serisly sucks now lah*sob*..i dun feel like studyin for lit anymore mann..
erm,tis part here is for max..aiyah,he wan me to help him by intro-ing ppl to him..and i duno who to intro..he shld might as well juz ask his guy frens to help him intro coz imo,i bet his guy frens noe more ppl..
and i realise today tat yh's shyXD..
< [P]ooh* [L]urver.
Follow the notes upon a journey;
At first sight marks one's destiny;
When the voyage comes to an end;
Return lies within hasty keys.
6:36 AM
Monday, March 3, 2008
hmm,today really seem ex slack lah..
usually had tuition but its changed to 2moro..so msn,sms n then also did up my cca article..
eee..last min push e job to me..n u noe me lah,do things do damn slow coz i hav tis habit of dily-deli-ing..
but anw,yipee,finally got it over le..
hmm,hav been ponderin on quite a no of stuff but i dun quite feel like typin it coz of my laziness>x<..
i guess i btr make tis a short post coz i gotta pray..
and it will nv be coz im holy but since jonathan so stronly encourage n everytime he talks to me,he will bring tat up..
so i shld try to do so n bu gu fu ta de xin xue n do it on a daily basis..n i hope my lao mao bing bu hui fa zuo>.<..
< [P]ooh* [L]urver.
Follow the notes upon a journey;
At first sight marks one's destiny;
When the voyage comes to an end;
Return lies within hasty keys.
6:39 AM
Sunday, March 2, 2008
went to touch up e blogskin..n i hope eveythin is alright..
hmm,life feels ex screwed up..
e biggest part of tat comes from religion..
8 months le..n yet its still there..
ohmann,u noe wat i hope..
i hope tat there's a wheel of time n i will run straight up to it..n turn it way back when i was twelve n choose nv to go STC,nv to choose LEGION..
or i hope der's tis big giant creature tat can literally pull me out of e situation tat im in n place me somewhere else..
*slap*,i serisly gotta tell myself to face reality mann..i was juz in my own fairytale world-a world of my imagination..
its juz gradually dawns on me that perhaps im so cynical towards catholicism is purely a way of covering up my fears n hurts..
i admit,i noe,im someone who has lots of fear(spoken n unspoken within me)..and after those incidents i went thru,who wouldnt xperience hurt..
n i wanted so badly to run away from tis whole situation,not to hav any encounter with any catholics anymore n to like'protect'myself from ever gettin hurt again..
ohmann,i muz serisly START prayin to ask for strength n to find my way out of tis..
i juz feel like i come to a standstill,be it sprituality,socially or acadmically..
< [P]ooh* [L]urver.
Follow the notes upon a journey;
At first sight marks one's destiny;
When the voyage comes to an end;
Return lies within hasty keys.
7:20 AM