ohya..here's sth tat i realised n it sank deep into me..n made me dwell on it for a short while..while walkin to e bus-stop..i was askin him how come he nv hand in e special report ah..n he say he nv check his e-mail..n then he told me e situation of his pdm..n i realised it aint better than mine too..but he told me in chinese(if i can rmb)..he will stick to it..
at tat moment,it struck me so strongly..wat is it tat can make him stick to it..but y m i,with each passin day,feelin weaker n weaker,havin e fear growin tenser n tenser..
is it coz his pdm has a SD whereas i dun hav..is it coz his sch gives him n e cca e moral support..whereas i dun hav..
wahh..i thought back of my lit novel..thought back bout wat bang bang taught us bout life befor leavin..
bang bang told us tis pencil parable..
The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box. There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil, before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil.
Three: You will be able to correct mistakes you will make.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside.
And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.
The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.
Now replacing the place of the pencil with you; always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.
Three: You will be able to correct mistakes you might make or grow through them.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.
And Five: On every surface you walk, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to serve God in everything.
By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart and a relationship with God daily.
n e quotes by Atticus strike me very strongly
"...I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you seeit through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do. Mrs Dubose won, all ninety-eight punds o her. According to her views, she died beholden to nothing and nobody."
n atticus said tis to scout as to y he had to defend a nigger-tom robinson"For a number of reason,The main one is, if I didnt, I couldn't hold up my head in town, I couldn't represent this country in legislature, I couldn't even tell you or Jem not to do something again.Because I could never ask you to mind me again. Scout,simply by the nature of the work,every lawyer gets at least one case in his lifetime that affects him personally. This one's mine,I guess. You might hear some ugly talk about it at school,but do one thing for me if you will:you just hold up your head high and keep those fists down. No matter what anybody says to you, don't you let 'em get your goat. Try fighting with your head for a change. . .It's a good one, even if it does resist learning.Simply because we were licked a hundred years before we started is no reason for us not to try to win. This time we arent fighting the Yankees, we're fighting our friends. But remember this, no matter how bitter things get,they're still our friends and this is still our home."
thinkin bout tis 2 things..i realised how much impact lit has had on my life..how much it can actually t'ch me..n now tat bang bang is leavin..i m really ex sad..n it then occured to me e voice tat i heard in s2..-to do pure lit-..e voice was really right ba(or at least i hope so)..n now e voice i m hearin is tellin me to push on n everythin will be well at e end..
though like last yr,i also heard other voices such as do pure hist too..go to smss..but no matter wat..when i searched deep..e voice tellin me to do pure lit..stayed on as e firmest voice..
n for me now,i m hearin voices to quit everythin,to quit legion..but still i hear e voice to push on n everythin will be well at e end..
n then i rmb wat my bang bang interpret e adaption tat i used from my lit novel:courage is bout actually stickin to one's principles..standin firm to it no matter wat e situation may be..n even though u may lose at e end of e day,u stil go thru tat battle..with e same set of principles tat u had at e every start..
n also,i rmb bout bang bang's pencil parable..
One: i really wanna be held in god's hand..n allow other human beings to access me for the many gifts i possess..but in e context of my sch,who will be able to walk with me thru tis dreary road..
Two: I will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, I'll need it to become a stronger person..each prob tat i m thrown with seems million times worse than e previous..i really dare not move on..
Three: You will be able to correct mistakes you might make or grow through them..n ye,e mistake is wat?..to come to stc??..n e lesson learnt:always listen to parents n dun come catholic sch?
Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside..if only everyone sees wat's on e inside..if everyone sees e true inner strength of legion n joins becoz if it..how great can it be
Five: On every surface you walk, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to serve God in everything.By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart and a relationship with God daily..i really wanna serve god..but i no you xin wu li..or m i wu xin wu li..
..i noe i gotta push on..coz i keep thinkin bout e novel..sayin tat even though we r licked doesnt mean we dun try..but i juz cant seem to do so..i seem to be losin faith..even though durin prayers n after a while,after prayin..i feel full of confidence..but when i see e reality(as in how e attitude of most of my mems n how most catholics in our sch seem to shun lom n catholic stuff)..i really dun noe how to move on..no idea how to push on..
i really wish mother mary..can juz start walkin to me n tell me wat to do..or can i go to u..or shld i say go to ur statue..n juz cry before u..in hope u will cradle me in ur arms..lettin me to a deep n nv endin sleep..*as i type till here,tears started to roll down my eys..n i really duno y*
< [P]ooh* [L]urver.
Follow the notes upon a journey;
At first sight marks one's destiny;
When the voyage comes to an end;
Return lies within hasty keys.
8:01 AM
Saturday, June 2, 2007
it started out on a bad note..with me wakin up at 7.30 am..n i was suppose to meet gen tan at 7.45..n eva at 8..n both e former n i were late..n so we met eva at 8.10..n congrats congrats to eva..for e first time she was early..reach spi in our usual stc way=late..n tis time we were late for 30mins..i think if i can rmb correctly,it's an improvement..
then durin e bible quiz,we were eatin sweets so as to survive..coz it was freakin cold..n sian(considerin e fact tat we had to wake up ex early on a sat)..n then e priest remind us at e end to come early for next sat's trainin(n eva n i look at each other..noein tat it wld be a thin of impossibility)..
den went with eva to meet raihan at orchard..n end up hav old chang kee n a drink from 7-11 for my lunch(juz like last sat)..rushed to sji..n was once again,late..
wahh..very sian n tired..n as a result,everytime i kena ask qn..i was like huh..followed my a moment of pause n er,erm,um n aa..n i was also like tat coz i was writin letters(which is wat i always do in class)..so ye,i lost concentration at times..but at least it helped to keep me awake ma..
ohya,then got ice-breaker..n we had to give an adjective to describe ourself..n jeff's adjective is patient..i had a hard time controllin my laughter lah..i was thinkin in my heart..which freakin part of him is ever patient to his sis or to an outsider,e.g. me..-.-""..
then we had to copy down sth..n i saw jonas handwritin..n said..wahh,so ex neat..n then mr pro in eng so extra..go n say..ur is also very neat..thank u lor..i noe my one very neat..but dun need suan me till like tat ma..
n wahh,i called dorothea a bit too late lah..end up,i cldnt get my S.H.E. cd..*sob*..y muz jeff n his frens meet so early n get to e place so early de..make me feel so bad lah..but at least i got to pass him doro's letter..but end up half-open..sorry ah..coz e envelope was done up long ago by my fren..n i was writin e letter n stuff at midnight..so ye,too blurred out liao..
then passed sweets to jonas,jeff n charles..er,then went for refreshments..n then e gal(former stc)..act recognised me..n we started talkin bout stc..n church n in a way,i didnt manage to talk to charles..
after refreshments,rushed off to cat class with nicholas..wahh,i think i confirm blurest of e blur lah..coz i was in a hurry n also,coz i got lot of stuff..then end up,i left my pen n e half-written letter on e chair(n i nv even realise)..then jonas was like ur pen is on e chair..so i ask him help me take..n when passin to him..he said tat was my love letter..but i said,too bad it is in chinese..
but i really thanked him for remindin me n passin it to me..coz i guess mr pro in eng..sure do sth to him..he's hundred million times better than mr pro in eng lah..
den my bad again..we took a bus tat caused us to walk for more than 10mins..but yipee yipee,i gotta miss an hr of class..which's so shiok lah..but there's one malutatin part..we were walkin in..den my ex s1 cat t'cher saw e 2 of us walkin..n he was like y r u all not in class yet..n we say we came from legion..
wahh,e t'cher's timin to appear in front of us is so gOoD lah..aiyah,luckily..it's not my facilitator..or someone(whom i know) de mum..or else..i more malutated..
heehee,though it's more thrillin to travel from e east to e central n then to e west alone..but it's more fun n enjoyable to hav someone go with u..
ohya,then after e day of events..family n i went to beauty world..n we bought new pillows..end up tis pillow tat i got..is like so big..tat my sis n i r sharin it on e same bed le..
< [P]ooh* [L]urver.
Follow the notes upon a journey;
At first sight marks one's destiny;
When the voyage comes to an end;
Return lies within hasty keys.
8:02 AM
Friday, June 1, 2007
ahh..i cant help but wonder if my chinese oral exam is screwed up or not..it wont be coz amazingly for e first time,i can actually talk w/o all those pauses n stuff..n also,e t'cher who test me is known for her niceness..n then,i had already sort of covered e topic tat i was tested on while studyin..so ye,mayb i'll be alright..i really hope i m..or do i hope otherwise..
coz thinkin back of p6..my oral for chinese de prelims was surprisingly good..but when came to e actual psle,it sucked so badly..
but then again..even if it is alright tis time..how alright can it be..i guess it'll nv go above 30..coz i was starin everywhere except at e t'cher..n then e moment e t'cher gave me e topic..after a few moments of thinkin..i juz talk non-stop with a bit of my er,erm,um,aa..n then when i finally stop talkin..her first qn to me-ni shi bu shi you dian jing zhang..n then she told me tat i shld not be jin zhang..n stuff..n blah blah..
before n after oral,went out with agnes..check out e ASM blog regardin how things went..
< [P]ooh* [L]urver.
Follow the notes upon a journey;
At first sight marks one's destiny;
When the voyage comes to an end;
Return lies within hasty keys.
6:05 AM